yesterday my daughter requested chicken cheese burger for breakfast. so… that’s what she gets this morning…

there was 1 morning i prepared breakfast that’s not according you my daughter’s menu. i planned the menu a day before without her consent. she was frustrated and decided not to have any. as a mother that worries of her energy level at school lost my temper at her… in the morning… really not a good way to start a day. but then, i hugged her and whispered sorry to her ear before she left for school.

 from there i learned to really listen and try your best to fulfill your kids request (according to your rules & regulations of course). so… when your kids are around you… please focus on them. nothing else matters… AND their opinion counts!

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 Disregarding Your Child’s Ideas (most mistake made by parents)

Children of all ages need to have some say in what happens to them. They also need to feel understood, especially by their parents.

When these two conditions exist, your children are much more likely to let you know what is happening in their lives, to coöperate with you and to take part in your family.

Now let us be clear. We are not advocating letting your children run your household. But we have observed that many parents are battling daily with their children over unimportant issues, such as clothing and hair styles. This causes unnecessary tension in your home and can be exhausting.

Children have good ideas and they have personal preferences. When they are allowed some choices and encouraged to contribute to family discussions about issues that affect them, they learn how to make good decisions, develop a positive self-image and become more responsible. Everybody wins.

Include Your Child at Every Opportunity:

1. Give your child choices whenever possible, in ways that are appropriate to her age and ability.

Even a very young child can choose between two outfits you selected. An older child can choose her clothing for school from the whole closet full. And yes, those wild hairstyles that teenagers like may seem odd to you – even ugly – but it is a harmless way for your child to claim her individuality. That is part of the process of becoming an adult.

2. Ask for your child’s ideas whenever possible – not just about superficial things, but also when making family decisions.

You will be surprised at how much wisdom she has – even at an early age. You will also notice that when you listen to her ideas, she will cooperate with you more and contribute more to your family.

3. Let go of your need to control him.

We don’t mean that you should allow your child to behave in inappropriate ways or have no limits. But the next time you are about to have a battle with him, you might ask yourself if this is an issue about his safety or well-being or a moral decision. If it is not, then ask yourself what harm could come from allowing him to try it his way.

When your child is allowed to make some of his own decisions, he is in the process of becoming a responsible adult. Isn’t that what you want for him?

4. Include her in problem-solving.

You will be amazed at how creative she can be. We all see things differently, and you may find that your child’s perspective was just the answer you were looking for.

5. Have regular family meetings.

If you are not already doing it, we encourage you to meet with your family on a regular basis, and invite everyone’s ideas about issues such as chores, family rules and where to go for a family outing. When families sit down together to talk about issues that affect all of them, everyone feels like part of the team.

thanks to feelgoodparenting.com

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